The Season Of Forgiving | itisreal's Blog

For some stupid reason, I've gotten back in touch with the person who hurt me most, my ex. I think I've done it because I miss him, and needed to say a lot face to face.
But then the next day, I tried to hook up with another guy. I failed, but in the process, somehow (which I really don't understand), it helped me move on. So now that I've agreed to meet with him, I think I've gone and screwed myself over.
I don't want to forgive any of what's happened. I wish I could have been thinner before I see him at the end of the week. I've also realised that he is a trigger to me, he sets of m disorder more, so as much as I don't wan recovery, its still not great, so I don't want him back.
This blog is rambling, apologise. I guess I just am scared about what's going to happen, I'm not sure whether to meet him or not. Bu I think it's for the best, say goodbye face to face for once.