Doctors Warning | itisreal's Blog

Yesterday, not only did I have a bad day dealing with fraud through amazon and losing £200 (long story and not really relevant), I then have a family friend seriously scare the crap out of me.
This family friend is a doctor. We were say alone when he asked me why my neck is swollen and why my teeth are turning how they are. I lied and said I didn't know. He said it was obvious I was throwing up and had an eating disorder, which I then admitted, on the promise he wouldn't tell anyone. He asked to examine my neck, and I agreed.
I wish I hadn't.
He shook me by the shoulders and and told me to stop. Wen I asked why, he told me if I keep up at the rate I'm going now, give a good month or two there is a good chance my esphoagus will rupture, which is very painful and will kill me.
As scared as this made me, I don't know how to stop for good, only for a month or two at the most, and even then I'm no any healthier as I restrict my intake more. I think of all the things pushing me to this and I can't think of anything else. I'm scared to die, but I can't stop.
This is the first time I've ever thought I may end up dead from this. I'm not as scared as I should be.

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Previous Posts
Happy New Year?, posted January 3rd, 2013
New Year Resolutions, posted December 31st, 2012
The Season Of Forgiving, posted December 19th, 2012
Doctors Warning, posted December 11th, 2012
Weight Loss, posted December 4th, 2012
Autocorrect, posted November 28th, 2012
Restricting, posted November 27th, 2012
Hating My Reflection, posted November 23rd, 2012
Control, posted November 21st, 2012
Telling Work The Truth, posted November 13th, 2012
Triggers, Self Harm and Child Abuse?, posted November 11th, 2012
Faking An Illness?!?, posted November 6th, 2012
EDNOS Under Stress, posted November 5th, 2012
My First Blog Entry, posted November 3rd, 2012

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