Doctors Warning | itisreal's Blog

Yesterday, not only did I have a bad day dealing with fraud through amazon and losing £200 (long story and not really relevant), I then have a family friend seriously scare the crap out of me.
This family friend is a doctor. We were say alone when he asked me why my neck is swollen and why my teeth are turning how they are. I lied and said I didn't know. He said it was obvious I was throwing up and had an eating disorder, which I then admitted, on the promise he wouldn't tell anyone. He asked to examine my neck, and I agreed.
I wish I hadn't.
He shook me by the shoulders and and told me to stop. Wen I asked why, he told me if I keep up at the rate I'm going now, give a good month or two there is a good chance my esphoagus will rupture, which is very painful and will kill me.
As scared as this made me, I don't know how to stop for good, only for a month or two at the most, and even then I'm no any healthier as I restrict my intake more. I think of all the things pushing me to this and I can't think of anything else. I'm scared to die, but I can't stop.
This is the first time I've ever thought I may end up dead from this. I'm not as scared as I should be.